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Bigger Picture Moment: Better than a Stranger

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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Bigger Picture Moment: Better than a Stranger

During the month of December I decided we should add some ROAKs {Random Acts of Kindness} to our Advent activities. And through the month we did…a couple…like buying the lady in front of me Starbucks and donating books the Children’s Hospital. I was going to pay the toll for the person behind me on our way to Chicago, but there was never anyone behind me {dang I-PASS}.

After these little “do good” acts I feel pretty accomplished, like I’ve done something to renew our hope in mankind. Then it happened. The one event that gives you a wake up call…

It all started with a trip to Wal-Mart after work, to pick up Hershey kisses for teacher gifts and some other odds and ends. As a friend said “that was your first mistake”. Shopping went seamlessly. I found what I needed and even bought some cute stuffed animals for the Children’s Hospital, and a $50 Wal-Mart gift card to share.

Feeling the rosy glow from my thoughtfulness, I walked in the door and greeted the kids with kisses and hugs. Said a quick “hello” to the hubs {who was busy wrapping gifts}, and began making dinner.

Just as quickly as the rosy glow came, just as quickly it left. In its place…crying, whining, teeth gritting, raised voices, hiding in bathrooms and just an overall sense of rage. Nice…

All I wanted was a quiet evening at home wrapping gifts and listening to Christmas carols.

Unfortunately, I decided to just be angry {not the best choice}. I wasn’t angry at anyone in particular. When asked what was wrong I gave the standard “I’m fine” response complete with gritted teeth and the deep sigh, which in turn made the hubs mad and frustrated. Wow, I can rock a bad night at home right?

There are moments when I wonder how he even finds it in his heart to love me, but he does. Even though I can be a big B sometimes {that’s Brat, not the other word of course}.

As I reiterated this story to a friend this morning it actually hit me, BLAMO right across the face.

Why am I so eager to be a “do gooder” for someone I don’t even know?

Why am I treating my family less than a stranger?

Ugh…yep there you have it the BPM of the day. It’s time to step it up folks, because my friends and family deserve better than a stranger. And it’s time I deliver.

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At December 22, 2011 , Blogger Hyacynth said...

Oh, Brook. Hugs, friend. Sometimes we do treat those we love with the least amount of love ... it's all a part of growing us as a person, those who are closest being the sharpening irons against the iron.
But there is grace! If nothing else, and especially this time of year I remember, that there is grace! And your family loves you, and you have another day to show them you love them. Such a hard, hard but important and lingering bigger picture moment. Thank you for the reminder to treat those in my family as well as I treat others. Love to you tonight, my friend.

At December 22, 2011 , Blogger Elisa Black said...

It sounds to me like you are being unduly hard on yourself (this from an expert at doing so). You had good intentions. It is the holiday season, which is very chaotic and stressful in many ways for all of us-- although exciting and festive at the same time. And being women, we do have "hormones". I don't know about you, but I'm 46 and definitely "peri-menopausal" (and I hate it, I have to say-- I want to be even-keeled and rational, but it doesn't always go that way). And unfortunately, sometimes its the ones we love most that we take it out on or whom bear the brunt of it-- but they see the real you, all sides of you-- so give yourself a break. I know that I can be a B----, and not Brat00 the other word-- but if I come around and apologize to my kids/husband, I feel so much better. Truthfully, sometimes its easier to do random acts of kindness for a stranger, than it is for those close to us b/c its so much more subjective. But I know, from reading your posts, that you are a devoted, loving mother and wife who has spunk and personality. It's okay. You don't have to be perfect all the time. I think you're doing great, and you inspire me :0) Have a wonderful, blessed holiday.

At December 23, 2011 , Blogger Gem said...

You know what this post has really opened my eyes, I have never thought of it like that before. So you know what although you have been trying just this post alone has given me some food for thought and for that Thank You.

Your family will always love you and quite often we do things for them we would not even consider kindness but it is always there even when we feel it is not.

I hope you all have a magical Christmas. Lots of love and hugs all the way from England x x x x


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