A {Friday} Sound Bytes of the Week

Finally on time and ready to roll...

This week's sound bytes were a little difficult to come by, but as usual my oldest always delivers.

ENJOY!

3. "I don't want peanut butter in my pants."
It's actually pancake batter and it's from a book E read...interesting, but a least I won't come home to find peanut butter in his pants. :-)

2. "Mom looks like Robin."
Maybe it's the red shoes. Oh and don't ask why Robin is dressed in Star Trek clothes.

And the number one Sound Byte of the Week is...

1. "I was holding in a snart."
Heard last night on 30 Rock (one of my favorite shows). Now I've heard of a shart, but not a snart. However, I do think I've sneed before (think about it).

There you go ... have a great weekend and I'll check in on Sunday (if everyone naps) until then ciao!

A {Belated} Sound Bytes of the Week

Hi all!

Sorry I TOTALLY dropped the ball on last Friday's Sound Bytes of the Week. I completely blame this on baby brain (which I will continue to do until both kids are in college).

Anyway, here they are and I promise to post them on time this week.

3. "Keep your nose in your own curtains."
Heard this one on the radio. It is in reference to a nosey elderly lady who was upset because she saw her six month pregnant neighbor out shoveling snow, and she felt this was extremely inappropriate.

My opinion (and feel free to share yours) it's fine if she wants to shovel, I'd just be nervous she could slip and fall. There's my two cents. :-) 

2. "Looks like you have a sock eater on your hands."

FYI ... That's NOT his sock...ewwwwww


And the Number One Sound Byte of the Week is...

1. "So you ate Bison balls for lunch."
To clarify I had a Bison MEATBALL sub from Devotay for lunch, and it was very tasty.


So there you go ... hope you had a laugh or two. And I promise to be on time this week.

Thank you to all the commentors on my last post. I'll be keeping you up-to-date on my progress and I hope you will do the same. Good luck getting in shape...Just take it one day at a time.

Give It BACK!!!

Give it BACK! I yell each day at my two little boys.

What do I want back you ask...well that would be my body.

Almost four years ago I was so excited to find out I was pregnant with E, then after eating everything in sight (french toast combos from Village Inn, Pop Tarts, Chips Ahoy! cookies, etc.) and gaining a whooping 70 pounds I decided next time I'd do it differently.

Post E, I lost some of the weight and even did a triathlon, but was NEVER where I used to be weight-wise or athletic-wise. So, when I was preggers with G, I thought this is my chance I'll eat healthy do prental yoga, try to keep walking, but extreme nausea and a placenta tear at 22 weeks made me be on unofficial bedrest.

So, now I am DONE! I love you both, but I'm DONE with getting pregnant and watching my body billow out to no man's land, and breastfeeding with ginormous boobs. I'M GETTING MY BODY BACK!

How you ask...

Well, I mentioned here that I was going to start Farrell's. For those of you that don't know about Farrell's let me fill you in.

Farrell's eXtreme Bodyshaping (FXB) is a 10 week extreme training program. Basically, you workout six days a week alternating kickboxing days with resistance bands. The biggest difference between FXB and other programs is the focus on nutrition (which I REALLY need help with).

My idea of nutrition is to just not eat, which is TERRIBLE, so now it's all about eating six times a day. Small meals with an emphasis on protein. 

More of this ....

Less of this.....

It's pretty intense, but it's exactly the swift kick in the ass that I needed.

After the first couple of days I REALLY went balls out in kickboxing class. The funniest thing is I can't seem to kick or hit the bag without grunting and gritting my teeth. I look and sound like a wild animal, but oh well what can I say I'm into it.

The coolest part is I've made some workout buddies. We bond over the fact that we all despise push-ups, the fact that if they make us do one more jumping jacks we will pee our pants and comparing protein bars and shakes (Yum?).

While it is hard to drag myself to the gym each night and not get done until it's pitch dark outside. I'm bound and determined to take back my body that was hijacked by two little boys.

On our first week my coach asked me to write down my goals and here are mine...I'd love to hear yours and what you are doing to RECLAIM YOURSELF FROM MOMMYHOOD!

My goals:

1. Have a better relationship with food...fyi I HATE IT!!! I am a recovering anorexic and thinking about it, planning meals, etc. FREAKS me out. My biggest issue isn't eating too much on my free day as it would be eating too little...

2. Do another triathlon and get a better time...I did the QC Tri two years ago and ended in 2 and a half hours (pitiful), so REALLY want to improve that.

3. Lose the baby weight (20 pounds)!

Three weeks down only seven more to go...stay tuned!

A {First} Sound Bytes of the Week

Each Friday I'll be posting the Sound Bytes of the Week.

Keep in mind NOT all of these are from the kids or even family members, some could just be the random person on the street or even YOU could make the top three if you're lucky.

So here are this week's top three...

3. "Mama you took off my baby's head."
Made by E in reference to G's head disappearing as I put a onesie on him.

Notice how he says "my baby"...hmmm...I can safely say that G is not "his baby" when he's crying or has a poopy diaper.

2. "Hit it! Don't tickle it!"
Get your minds out of the gutter people!
This was made by my FXB coach during kickboxing class...he's talking about the punching bag...duh ;-)

And drumroll please...the Number 1 Sound Byte of the Week is...
"Mommy you better move or I'm gonna kick your ass."

WHAT!!!!

Oh yeah you heard it and so did half of Target. Let's just say my head spun around so quick I got whiplash.

I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I tried to think of a response that suited itself to public scrutiny. So here's what I did...

"Where did you hear that?"

"You said it."

Hmmmm....thinking over in my head have I said that to him...nope just the cat. Ahhh...little ears...damn!

"I don't say that to you."

"Yes you do."

More eyes staring...ugh...

"Well if I ever say that to you then you can put me in the timeout chair. Because that's not a nice thing to say to people. So please don't say it again."

"Ok mom...so I get to put you in a time out."

Learning moment. FAIL.

PRICEY = PRICELESS

$15,000 - yep you read it right - $15,000 ... that's how much we spent on childcare school last year. Ugh...just thinking about it makes my stomach turn in knots.

Seriously...seriously, keep in mind G wasn't born until May and we get a lovely lowly five percent discount for kid number two.

Now I'm sure those mommies out there in New York, Chicago and California are like "shut your pie hole what are you complaining about?" But keep in mind big city, big paycheck mommies I work for a retirement community in IOWA and my hubby works PART-TIME at the University and runs his own business. So don't judge me, as you stand there in your Manolos, wearing your Dolce and Gabbana dress, with a Louie on your arm.

This is pricey!

The saddest part is that while I bitch about paying so much my poor child's teachers don't get paid squat to be puked on, pooped on, spit on, yelled at, and / or generally listening to screaming kids all hours of the day while trying to actually teach them something.

I admire these teachers who for no apparent reason other than to drive themselves insane on a daily basis, have decided to care for my children (better and more patiently than I ever could).

So in exchange for $15,000 a year, G can sit up, coo with the best of 'em and eat his weight in baby food. While E can learn to spell his name, spit on a teacher (sorry Meagan) and tackle his friends on the playground (sorry Alex).

And as parents ... well I get ZERO mommy guilt about NEEDING (for my own sanity and for groceries) to work and peace of mind that our boys are having fun, making friends and learning something new.

PRICELESS!!!!

I've MOVED!!!!

Well, I grew totally fustrated with Wordpress, so I've changed venues. Which means my blog address has changed as well. Don't forget to change it in your Favorites, your feeds and your Bookmarks (because I know you're totally following every wonderful moment of my life)

Anyway, just wanted you all to know about the move and I'll be posting more tonight...topics include "No Pain No Gain" and "Oh the Things that Little Ones Say".

Stay Tuned!

New Year's Resolutions!

It's the new year and according to social conformity I'm supposed create a list of resolutions. Well, that's a pretty long list - lose the baby weight, be more optimistic, eat better, organize my house - the list goes on and on and on...

Pretty much what happens is a I make a bunch of resolutions and by January 15 the honeymoon phase wears off and I just give up and feel like a HUGE failure. This year is different though, I feel it in the air. I'm inspired, driven and maybe even a little angry at myself for not trying harder.

So here are my goals for 2011 and some of my inspiration...


1. Eat better, and be stronger
With the help of Your Daily Dose of F.I.T (Fitness, Ideas, Tips) I'll get tips on meal planning, including recipes and even be able to squeeze some mini workouts in here and there. It will also help that I'm starting Farrell's eXtreme Bodyshaping on Monday (exercise 6 days a week for 10 weeks and a nutrition plan) Trust me I'll blog as I go, because I'm sure I'll be bitching about how sore I am. Oh and I can't forget the one person who gave me such a nice transversus, Marcie at Serenity Yoga and Pilates. With all this support who wouldn't be able to be stronger and eat better...Go TEAM!!!

2. Document our time together
This year I realized life is short and you need to capture every moment together before it slips away. So I've been CRAZY about photos! I found two photographers that I ABSOLUTELY love -

Luella B Photography

and

Mebraldy Photography

Thanks ladies for being my personal paparazzi.

3. Make our house a homeWhen I was first married I loved putting kitchy things together to decorate our home. Once we had kids that all ended, breakables in boxes or high on shelves, bookcases that held books now hold toys. Oh and cost was always an issue, why spend so much on something when formula and diapers are needed. Well as luck would have it I found this blog Thrifty Decor Chick and boom inspiration struck! My Christmas decor this year is much better than the 1980's rejects I had before.

Thanks Sarah! You've inspired me to get a glue gun and a table saw.
So there's my top three goals of 2011. Maybe I have a chance this year...with all this inspiration and support the sky's the limit...who knows what may happen!


I've shared mine now it's your turn!
resolutions
resolutions