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Selfish Love: Bigger Picture Moment

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Selfish Love: Bigger Picture Moment

A couple of days back on the Bigger Picture Blog Facebook page someone asked "What do you ALWAYS make time for?"

Immediately in my head I said "the gym." As I went to post my answer, I read what others posted. Things like spending time with my kids, cuddling with my husband, etc.

I felt so guilty I didn't comment.

That night I asked B2 about it and he said don't worry. It's not like you don't do all that other stuff.

Yeah, but...I still felt bad.

Then I thought some more, and more, and more {you know cause I ruminate about things}.

Then I thought WHY am I feeling guilty about this. WHY should I feel guilty about loving myself so much that I would do ANYTHING to make sure I get that 45 minutes of bliss?

As a mother and wife I beat myself up over not being there enough, not being attentive enough to OTHER peoples needs. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME?

Some would say I'm selfish. However, I remember what a friend told me right after I had E, she said "Make sure your oxygen mask is on first, then put everyone else's on." In a nutshell...take care of yourself first, so you can be there for those you love.

And I love them truly I do, but I HAVE to love myself more or I will disappear in their love.

After taking care of everyone else and giving, giving, giving there just wouldn't be anything left. So I take 45 minutes to love myself and do something for me, so I can have more for them.

I'm a better mom, wife, friend and all around person after I've had that 45 minutes. It helps me let go of the yuck so I can embrace the joy.

If that makes me selfish then so be it. I'm done feeling guilty.

Each Thursday, we come together to share the harvest of intentional living by capturing a glimmer of the bigger picture through a simple moment. And to spice it up a little, during the month of FEBRUARY, we’ll be reflecting upon the tender gifts of love that bring sparkle our lives.



At February 16, 2012 , Blogger Adrienne said...

My kids are 24 and 22. And it took me a LONG time to figure out how important what you are saying is. And by the time I figured it out, I was too tired to change anything...hahaha! SO, from an older mama, may I just've got this on straight! If you'll forgive me a Jesus quote - he did say the second command was to love others AS WE LOVE I think you're wise beyond your years!

At February 16, 2012 , Blogger alita jewel said...

I don't think I commented on that one so I'll accompany you and tell you that I always make time for photography. Either editing it, dreaming about it, or doing it. Because you are so very right... We are important, too. And you shouldn't feel guilty about loving yourself so much that you take care of the giving vessel.


At February 16, 2012 , Blogger Emily said...

I always make time to write...even if it means I don't have time to cook dinner.

I don't think you're selfish. I think you're a good example!

At February 16, 2012 , Blogger Hyacynth said...

Taking care of your most basic needs isn't selfish; it's self care. And self care is what SO many mothers are missing. We need those moments, those chunks of time to revitalize our bodies because it doesn't just keep us physically strong, but it keeps us mentally and emotionally strong, too. There is no guilt in this kind of self care, and I'm so glad you shed it.

At February 16, 2012 , Blogger This Heavenly Life said...

Girl, you're giving your family a GIFT with those 45 minutes of exercise -- both in the way of having a healthy (both in body and in mind) mother and wife and in demonstrating a wonderful way to live a life. I fully believe that kids need to SEE their parents engaging in what they're passionate about. It enables them to sow their own passions!

So exercise on, mama.

I didn't answer that post, either, but I ALWAYS make time for dessert :)

Or reading.... ;)

At February 16, 2012 , Blogger Jade @ Tasting Grace said...

You're not being at all selfish! That time for you is important and makes it possible for you to be there for them in strong ways. This past year or so of personal growth and change for you has been astounding to watch. It's been so lovely to see the strong, empowered woman emerge - and that time at the gym has played an instrumental role in it. You're setting a profound example for your family in strength and discipline and, yes, self-love & care. Spending 45 minutes telling them about those things is not nearly so powerful as spending that time showing them how it's done and how fulfilling the rewards are.

No guilt. It's ALL love.

At February 17, 2012 , Blogger Gem said...

I couldn't agree with you more, if you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to take care of them, and anyway who cares what other people think, you are what matters x x x x

P.S there is an award waiting for you on today's blog post - I got a bit confused yesterday as I had scheduled the post in , sorry ha ha x x x x


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