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Hopping on My Soapbox: I want a CHOICE

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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Hopping on My Soapbox: I want a CHOICE

Typically, I don't get involved in political shenanigans, but the whole Rosen vs. Romney debate fired me up. So forgive me as I hop on my soapbox and give my two cents on the situation.

First and foremost I agree with Rosen, perhaps not the words she used but the meaning behind them. I don't care what kind of mom you are, you can admit the fact that Ann Romney never had to work [for a paycheck} a day in her life. For real. she was rich even before she met her husband and we all know he's loaded. They come from a life of wealth and wealth leads to privilege which leads to an easier lifestyle.

A lifestyle that over half the American people know nothing about, nor do they care because they are out working long hours for that paycheck so they can support their kids.

I'm one of those people.

I'm a WORKING mom. Yes, I know. All moms work trust me I get it. But both B2 and I HAVE to work or our kids will be eating ramen noodles everyday. Even with the added cost of childcare {which exceeds our monthly mortgage payment} it's still more cost effective for me to work outside the home. Because right now I make more than my husband. Yep. that's right. He owns his own business and there are times when he makes more than me, but it's never consistent. So, it's up to me.

Who was it that said moms can have it all? Well I guess I do.

I'm bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the pan...

This isn't feminism speaking, it's just a fact of life. And there are days when I wish I had the luxury of being a SAHM. {Ok don't slam me for using the word luxury} Let me explain before anyone's feelings get hurt. I know the job of a SAHM is tough I get it, but to me it is a luxury and one that my family can't afford. And it is a luxury to not have to worry about things like...

1. Getting fired. Even though my job is great and I'm totally awesome at it. In a world full of surprise layoffs and a tough economy this is a constant fear.

2. Missing your kids. I miss them everyday. Not only that but I've had to miss shark presentations, soccer practices, and E getting stitches all because of work obligations. And when one of the kids gets sick B2 and I need to check our schedules and figure out who can use a vacation day to stay home with them. It makes me sad. We even missed G's first word and first steps {all done at daycare}.

3. The heartache of going back to work after maternity leave. With E this was overwhelming. To the point where every morning I would cry on my way to work and cry on my way home. For the first two years of his life I left for work before he woke up and spent only an hour with him before bed. It was terrible. My current job is much better, but even after having G it was hard going back to work.

4. The cost of childcare. It is astronomical, and sending E to kindergarten will be like winning the lottery in terms of childcare.

5. I don't have a choice to stay home. NEVER. Not once was that a choice. It was decided before we even had kids and not by me or my husband, but by the economics of this jacked up country we live in.

I'm not here to say one is better than the other or to debate who sacrifices more, but let's get real do you think that Ann Romney had to worry about any of those things. NO!! And that's what makes her completely unrelatable to me, and to many other women.

We are all juggling this job of motherhood on top of ten million other things in life. But let's just recognize that some of us don't have the choices that are offered to the Ann Romney's of the world. And perhaps we can work together to fix the country's problems, so that whether to work or not can be more of a CHOICE instead of a NECESSITY.

*I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings with this post, and if you disagree or have other opinions please share them, because there are no judgements on the blog.


At April 18, 2012 , Anonymous Sincerely, Jenni said...

THANK YOU for saying what so many of us are thinking. I totally agree with everything you said, and I wish that Rosen would have worded her comment differently.

I am sure Ann Romney never had to go to garage sales to outfit her five boys in clothing. I am sure she never had to make mac and cheese because staying home was a sacrifice she wanted to make. I am sure she has never had to turn down going to lunch with her friends because they didn't have the money until the next payday.

Real problems we all have had, and I am sure she's never had to worry about any of them.

At April 18, 2012 , Blogger Trish Peddicord said...

I absolutely agree with you. Being a SAHM is a luxury that not all moms get to experience. I have been blessed to be a SAHM and I do see this as a luxury and I'm incredibly grateful. There are factors that do weigh on me that others might not think of. In this time of downsizing and companies being more lean, I do worry about my husband's job. Will it ever be his turn to be let go due to lay-offs? We would have NO income if that happened? That's a constant stress. I also don't get sick days. My hubby will stay home if needed, but I never ask unless I'm on my death bed. So the days that I used to get sick, the kids would still go to daycare and I'd stay home from work. Those days have long gone. Now I just suffer through it. We do not have the slush fund that we used to have for the extras, that's now gone. I shop sales, coupon clip and am constantly conscience of when milk is on sale...something I never used to do.

As for Rosen vs Romney, Rosen's statment has been used out of context by the media. She simply said that Romney, as a SAHM, hasn't had to work or worry about money (not b/c she's a SAHM) but b/c they are EXTREMELY weathly. Just like you said. She's right! If you have a ton of money, then how in the world can you relate to a mom or a family that has to work to put food on the table. This is regardless of whether or not you're a single or double income family. If you have extreme wealth, you still have stress but not the kind we are all faced with. I feel bad for Rosen as she being targeted as a person that doesn't understand the SAHM, which isn't what this is about. It's specifically about Romney not understanding the troubles with today's economy. Do you think she stocks up on spaghetti sauce when it's on sale????? LOL


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