The Soundtrack of My Life

It starts out low, I hear the breathing of my husband the whoosh of cars on the interstate outside our bedroom window, and the cat snoring at the foot of the bed.

Then the crescendo. My alarm goes off the sounds of hip hop music in air, I quickly turn it off with a loud click. The pitter patter of little feet against the bathroom tile, a tinkle, a flush then more pattering feet to the side of our bed. "Can I sleep with you," says the little voice in the dark.

"Sure hop up," I say sleepily.

He hops up and snuggles between us, I hear him sucking his thumb.

The baby starts chatting to himself in the next room, a low murmur over the monitor.

I wearily get out of bed and head to the shower, while B2 and E whisper to each other.

The shower comes to life and so do I as step under the warm water. The strong spray against my skin.

Voices in the hall, the baby's chatter turns to cries and more pitter patter of feet.

The water stops I step into the room.

Sounds are coming from every direction, the TV blaring the latest news about engaged movie stars and other nonsense. The clatter of spoons in cereal bowls. The aimless chatter of little ones.

The blow dryer drowns out everything. B2 says something and I can't hear him. Only his lips are moving. "What," I yell over the dryer.

I click it off, he asks about stuffed animals and school clothes.

Quickly I get dressed, throwing clothes haphazardly. "Hurry up," I yell. "We are running late." I should put this mantra on tape and play it every morning.

Crying and complaining come from then next room. Then silence and magically two dressed little boys appear before me.

The rumble of the garage door shakes the house. The car engine roars, and off we speed.

At school the noise increases. Temper tantrums and crying all meld into one big mess. "Goodbye," I yell over the din of noise. I think I make out an I love you, but I'm not sure.

Silence in the car. Silence. Golden and fleeting.

I step into the office. The murmur of voices greets me. The ringing phone and click clacking of keyboards. Throughout the day. The same noises.

Click Clack. Ring. Click Clack. Ring.

The day has ended.

The pool is beckoning. I pad across the pool deck and dip my foot in the warm water. I take a deep breath and start my strokes. The water is quiet at first then gets louder as my strokes increase. Splashing and slapping the side of the pool. My breath heavy and deep. My mind clearing and silent.

Peace.

I step out padding to the locker room. The rush of the shower and the deafening noise of the hairdryer.

My high heels echo in the garage, sounding like a hundred people instead of just one.

Another car ride, a rumbling garage door. The cat mewing at my feet.

Silence.

Then doors slamming and yelling. "MOM!!!". Music to my ears.

Pots and pans clanking together trying to produce something edible. The sizzling in the pan, and the sloshing of milk into glasses.

"Eh, eh, eh," and pointing from the baby. I have no clue what he wants and the whines get louder and louder until I finally put dinner in front of him.

The clinking of forks on plates the giggles over jokes and the "How was your day?" questions.

Whoosh, goes the dishwasher signaling the finality of dinner and the impending bedtime routine.

The rip of Velcro from a soiled diaper, soon replaced by a fresh one for bedtime. The zip of PJ zippers and the click of the light sending babies into darkness and slumber.

Older ones are watching TV and the toot toot of a train and roar of a dinosaur are the only sounds that can be heard.

Then stories and the sounds of worn pages turning in books and yawns emanating from my mouth.

"Good night mama."

"Good night my wonderful boy."

I make my way downstairs the sounds of the TV drown out the To Do list swirling in my head. My eyes feel heavy and I yawn again.

We make our way upstairs. Doors opening and closing, checking on little ones breathing heavy with sleep.

The cats mew at our feet wanting to be fed.

Click. I set the alarm.

And we cuddle close in bed letting the sounds of the day fade until the only noise that can be heard are two heart beats in the night.